And maybe I let my mind wander too much at times (and if you know me, you understand you need to either get excited or cringe when I say "I had an idea when I was... (insert activity here: feeding the horses; mowing the lawn; driving the tractor; etc)
Yesterday morning, my darling wife texted me that I should take the dog for a walk before it got too hot (for me? for the dog?). So I finished some work and started getting ready for a walk. I went outside to get my sneakers and there was only one. Looked around, no other sneaker. Looked inside, looked outside. looked on the porch and by the door and under the bushes, no other sneaker. Searched the memory banks to remember where I had gone the previous night--worked bingo and came home with both sneakers.
A few possible explanations: 1. Deb had dragged a box or bag on her way out in the morning and my sneaker got caught and was in the car. 2. some critter decided it needed my sneaker more than I did and absconded with it. 3. teenage prankster (but we don't really have a lot of that around here). 4. black hole, twilight zone, alternate dimension (ditto).
I called my wife and ask about possibility one. Nope, no dragging this morning. She asks if I had spilled something on my shoe that might have made possibility two more likely... not that I recall. Whatever. I slipped on an old pair of sneakers, got the dog, and headed out for the constitutional.
And while I was walking it all became clear:
- She told me to go out for a long walk on our quiet rural street.
- She stole my sneaker, knowing that I would call her and see if she knew anything about that. The phone call fixed the exact time I would be going out.
- She could then call her hitman and tell him I was leaving
- Hitman drives down quiet rural street looking for me... probably in a shiny black SUV.
- Bang! Goodbye rotten good for nothing husband.
Later, I went to the library, returned the new crime drama audiobook I had just started, and picked out something a bit lighter.
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